Chapter 24: Careerism.

2013.

I never realized whenever I jumped into snake pits.

Outside those negative words I am certainly getting used to brandish, it wasn't all horrible people with evil underlying intentions. There was brightness.

The creativity and dedication of students eager to know every detail about a certain subject —to learn to eventually push the field forward. The innocence of certain professors that genuinely wanted to help: those who hadn't become an exploiter nor a lazy loafer with the false sense of entitlement that having suffered from a doctorate gives.

Being in such a blooming field, I enjoyed every perk imaginable —once the private sector had laid its roots. My research within the University was given as many resources as I demanded —sometimes many more. Those were great times, being embarked in so many projects. Seeing everything advance. Tutoring papers, but having resources and time to publish my own.

Spring was coming. Companies flew around this academic field, guided by the smell of anything resembling disruptive innovation. Being so much in the cutting edge of research, it was trivial from some expert to go get a seven figure salary by working for a company full-time.

Consulting was supposed to be something secondary, while my main occupation remained circumscribed to research. Not because the warmth of being around students, nor sharing wonderful times with fellow professors. Just because I needed the flexibility that I had in my research. And, most importantly, because my reputation could soar in that environment.

Maybe I wasn't that different from Satsuki: ‘reputation’ had become crucial for me. And I thought about it, and my concept of reputation was based in a set of values which were much more commendable, much more trascendental than Satsuki's. I have my doubts now.

Reputation as an academic was orders of magnitude above of what a stellar, rock-star job at a Forbes 500 company could offer. Alain, who had quickly steered towards the path of corporate America, was always dismissing this notion. For him, reputation followed money. Probably he wasn’t all that wrong about it. At least in our society.

A couple years passed and routine lowered my standards progressively. I witnessed incredible advances, but took part of none. Where was all the credit? Where was the reward I had fought so much for? Wasn't I good enough? It really meant nothing, after all.

Slowly, I had been getting used to napping on a bed made by the many perks that I had at my disposition. And for a moment, I thought that that was it: it was a comfortable bed, after all. I could linger there indefinitely.

And the bed was showered in luxuries coming from my role as a consultant.

Then, it was the time to work on all those things I had been neglecting all my life. To find love. To raise a family. Maybe. To respond to biological callings. More so, to become human.

A human who slacked!

Mistakes were made. I made mistakes. I made those. I probably went too far into networking, expecting to satisfy that social aspect of life that I had been neglecting for so long. Maybe I exploited hires and students too much, too often.

But “Helping them, I help myself”. That would be great if it wasn't a euphemism for using their work and taking most of the credit. I guess I became a snake after all. Maybe a small one. Maybe a fat snake would have been better at detecting and exploiting talent. If I hadn't been bitten by other snakes before, I wouldn't be as sour... maybe I wouldn't have become a snake. Yes, snakes made me a snake. Because “Everybody does it!”. Because it's the way to excel.

My behavior —that only now I recognize as exploitative— was half expected: academia isn't immune to the unscrupulous instincts of a human who is high on a hierarchy, as long as those are expressed within the realm of the acceptable. And it's not like I used a whip or something.

None of these behaviors had any negative repercussions for me whatsoever. That, until someone put me in the crosshairs. Someone either motivated by politics or some kind of twisted revenge.

I didn't have many enemies that I knew of. I knew that I had hurt Alain's standing in the company by talking about the immorality of his decisions. Yet he seemed to treat the whole thing with good sportmanship. He'd been a bit psychopathic to hide all his irk and devise a plan to bring me down.

“You're not playing by the rules.” —Alain said.

“Your rules? Am I supposed to do whatever you want me to do?”

“Those ain't my rules, and you're going to regret fighting them.” —he was my dear friend, I couldn't take that as a threat.

Politics-wise, there were other professors that competed with me, as they aimed for accessing similar funds and investments as I did. I had seen many of their projects and their budget plans rejected for one reason or another. Sometimes, I had exerted some political influence in order to win against them. Normal dynamics. In the area of amorality. Anyway, the same principle applies here: they must have been sociopaths to want to destroy me just because they envied my position.

My enemy didn't stop there. My enemy was obsessed.

There was a reason, or at least a cause, or at very least a precedent, for me never realizing whenever I jumped into pits full of snakes.

I never realized whenever I became a snake.